Its not exactly a good feeling, to see people rejoicing while youre in agony.
I experienced that first hand the other day. Even though he probably didnt mean it, and I know I shouldnt mind too, but I just cant help but feel lost and helpess and not to mention useless too.
Maybe what I fear has finally been confirmed, maybe im just being selfish and maybe im only concern with my own happiness.
But I know that I should be happy.Cause if he is happy,then im probably happier too.Maybe I just need to grow up, to learn to be okay being by myself...
I should live for myself and pursue all the things ive dream of. In life, we gain some and lose some, but im always afraid of losing, and maybe that might be the reason why im always sticking to the safe side instead of embracing who I truly wanna be.
This year's New Year is extremely meaningful for me because I believe that 2015 have alot more to offer and alot more lessons to learn from as well. A year older and maybe,hopefully more mature too
With love,
pat
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