I don't wanna grow up

Back to blogging again tonight!


To be honest,i have always been an immature and irresponsible person. I guess it's a habit that was cultivated since young? Since young,i've always been very reliant on my parents, be it in the case of decision making / financial matters / advices, i'll always seek their help on it.Thus i guess this makes me very dependent on people and i often get scared when i have to make decisions alone,esp major decisions in life. Tonight, i made a terrible mistake...partly due to my irresponsibility and inability to organize my life.But it is also tonight that i realized that i am in the process of growing up. I am definitely not that mature person that a 21 years old should be like,but i know i'm slowly trying to reach my goal.It is also through tonight that when someone mentioned to me that i need to get my shit together and think before i act,that i realized that maybe im too greedy in life?like i want more that what my plate can take.And because of that,i always end up being disorganized and  irresponsible as i don't fufill my promise to people. I know that it is also because of this that i disappoint people,and sometimes i feel like a utter disappointment myself. I have friends of my age,who have started businesses or are embarking on big projects or doing a major change to their life right now, and here i am wondering (and probably dreaming) how to earn big bucks in the future. Haahaaa maybe one day money will really fall from trees!! haha maybe if i ever do dream hard enough:)

On a sidenote ,i am really glad that i have someone to confine my troubles in, and i am really glad that there is someone who is leading the clueless me to the right path in life. Actually,i had a major takeaway from class today. My prof actually told us this.She mention that sometimes the person/partner that you're looking for in life, is actually the person that you've always wanna emulate or want to become. So in a way,unknowingly, most people tend to fall in love with the person who has the ideal version of themselves in life.


Haha!! As nothing is confirmed yet,i can't really reveal much to you guys...but i promise,i will update my blog again soon. As much as i hate growing up....coz life just sucks when you have more and more responsibility....in future,you'll have to think of family finances? family planning?? and career responsibilities???  But i guess, what doesn't kill you makes u stronger. So why be weak when you can be strong?


cheers!
pattie