Its not exactly a good feeling, to see people rejoicing while youre in agony.
I experienced that first hand the other day. Even though he probably didnt mean it, and I know I shouldnt mind too, but I just cant help but feel lost and helpess and not to mention useless too.
Maybe what I fear has finally been confirmed, maybe im just being selfish and maybe im only concern with my own happiness.
But I know that I should be happy.Cause if he is happy,then im probably happier too.Maybe I just need to grow up, to learn to be okay being by myself...
I should live for myself and pursue all the things ive dream of. In life, we gain some and lose some, but im always afraid of losing, and maybe that might be the reason why im always sticking to the safe side instead of embracing who I truly wanna be.
This year's New Year is extremely meaningful for me because I believe that 2015 have alot more to offer and alot more lessons to learn from as well. A year older and maybe,hopefully more mature too
With love,
pat
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
post exam thoughts
I dont know if its because I didnt study enough or what...but I honestly felt like crying in the exam hall.
This is so far my hardest sem in my life...with 3 out of 6 papers that I took ended up with me not knowing how to answer the questions
Need time to self reflect
This is so far my hardest sem in my life...with 3 out of 6 papers that I took ended up with me not knowing how to answer the questions
Need time to self reflect
Monday, December 1, 2014
BangBang
I've learnt something today....
You'll know it when Jerome finally wakes up when he catches on to the song of Bang Bang and Blank space early in the morning....
Even though the lyrics are some what inaudible
You'll know it when Jerome finally wakes up when he catches on to the song of Bang Bang and Blank space early in the morning....
Even though the lyrics are some what inaudible
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Meh
I just finish an exam......which was pretty bad.
Okay no
it was DAMN BAD.
Why must uni be so tough? And why must people be so smart? And why must profs be so mean to set such difficult questions???
Maybe next time I should answer in a super tough and complicated manner such that the prof dont understand
Haha and the world is so unfair cause she will only mark me down.....
Oh a sidenote,I wanna note down all the sweet stuff that Jerome has done for me esp during exam time aka my stressful period filled w unreasonable moodswings etc...haha before I forget them.
So lets start from...hmm idk when...but he is like my daily alarm clock la, both for naps and morning calls...Jerome is so nice to always tell me to nap and tt knowing tt I will never ever hear the alarm in my sleep or I will resort to like 1000000 snoozes...he decides to call me when my nap is up and he calls me for morning call to ensure tt I wake up in time for my papers:) SO NICE HOR
He is also the solution to my hungry tummy!!! Always miraculously turning up at my hall with supper whenever im hungry
And he is also my faithful companion,accompanying me to study whenever im homesick and he always try to find me in school whenever he is free:)
Haha but im still independent ok....dont judge me
oh and back to myself....im utterly drained from the lack of sleep and info overload....actually sometimes I wonder...if we are so caught up with the pursue of grades..that we gave up doing things tt we enjoy doing...wont we forget to live?
Like I gave up dancing and all my other ccas and performances because I realised tt grade really matters ultimately...ultimately my gpa is gonna get me a job and my ccas arent gonna help much in it...thus after studying for like 14 years of my life...I realised tt we missed out on the process....learning should be an enjoyable process...not sth that brings agony and sadness and drains the health out of ones body...yet the sad thing is, we are all too blinded by the end goal that we neglected the process of learning....
Okay I should stop reflecting so much...
Think so much in the exam hall
finish the paper also think too much
Need to give my brain a rest
Bye!
Okay no
it was DAMN BAD.
Why must uni be so tough? And why must people be so smart? And why must profs be so mean to set such difficult questions???
Maybe next time I should answer in a super tough and complicated manner such that the prof dont understand
Haha and the world is so unfair cause she will only mark me down.....
Oh a sidenote,I wanna note down all the sweet stuff that Jerome has done for me esp during exam time aka my stressful period filled w unreasonable moodswings etc...haha before I forget them.
So lets start from...hmm idk when...but he is like my daily alarm clock la, both for naps and morning calls...Jerome is so nice to always tell me to nap and tt knowing tt I will never ever hear the alarm in my sleep or I will resort to like 1000000 snoozes...he decides to call me when my nap is up and he calls me for morning call to ensure tt I wake up in time for my papers:) SO NICE HOR
He is also the solution to my hungry tummy!!! Always miraculously turning up at my hall with supper whenever im hungry
And he is also my faithful companion,accompanying me to study whenever im homesick and he always try to find me in school whenever he is free:)
Haha but im still independent ok....dont judge me
oh and back to myself....im utterly drained from the lack of sleep and info overload....actually sometimes I wonder...if we are so caught up with the pursue of grades..that we gave up doing things tt we enjoy doing...wont we forget to live?
Like I gave up dancing and all my other ccas and performances because I realised tt grade really matters ultimately...ultimately my gpa is gonna get me a job and my ccas arent gonna help much in it...thus after studying for like 14 years of my life...I realised tt we missed out on the process....learning should be an enjoyable process...not sth that brings agony and sadness and drains the health out of ones body...yet the sad thing is, we are all too blinded by the end goal that we neglected the process of learning....
Okay I should stop reflecting so much...
Think so much in the exam hall
finish the paper also think too much
Need to give my brain a rest
Bye!
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
currently in jail
Ive just started reading my 200 pages of notes for tmr's morning exam....and why do I feel like im in jail already??? Locked inside my room and probably chained to my chair so I'll stop opening my fridge for food....Sian....Maybe thats why I keep aging faster and faster....cause 1) I got no life 2) I havent got enough sleep since primary 6 I think 3) cause books are too smart for me
Even though ppl say I look 25.....(im actually 21)...but I feel like im 70 yyears old???? My hair is dropping, ive excessive weight gain, and I feel like my vision is getting more and more blurry?? SIGNS OF AGEING!!!!!
OKOK, I''ll come back here after I finish serving my jail time...hopefully get an early release this thurs after my paper before I get a break and chiong again for my papers next week....
Bye peeps!!
Even though ppl say I look 25.....(im actually 21)...but I feel like im 70 yyears old???? My hair is dropping, ive excessive weight gain, and I feel like my vision is getting more and more blurry?? SIGNS OF AGEING!!!!!
OKOK, I''ll come back here after I finish serving my jail time...hopefully get an early release this thurs after my paper before I get a break and chiong again for my papers next week....
Bye peeps!!
exams
When people say, it only gets harder year after year, well i think thats a REALLY VALUABLE advice. It really does get harder when you move on to year 2 etc. Here i am dying while i mug my way for tomorrow's open book exam....and in the mean time, dreaming of going Christmas shopping with Jerome after exams.
Cant wait to spend time with him before I lend him to his taiwanese girlfriends (haha just kidding)
I thought A Levels was the worst period in my life......seems like Uni isnt very much different.
Okay it isnt much different because I didnt drink 2 redbulls and 1 cup of coffee daily like in my JC pre-A level days ......but still, im drinking 1 cup of teh-bing everyday....so i think im pretty much growing fat...(gained 4 kg since the start of this sem)
Great job pat, keep up your weight gaining scheme
byebye!
Cant wait to spend time with him before I lend him to his taiwanese girlfriends (haha just kidding)
I thought A Levels was the worst period in my life......seems like Uni isnt very much different.
Okay it isnt much different because I didnt drink 2 redbulls and 1 cup of coffee daily like in my JC pre-A level days ......but still, im drinking 1 cup of teh-bing everyday....so i think im pretty much growing fat...(gained 4 kg since the start of this sem)
Great job pat, keep up your weight gaining scheme
byebye!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)